A few minutes ago, we talked about how to nurture charity through the sacraments. To review quickly, what we talked about.
God calls us to Charity.
In order to nurture that charity that God calls us to - we need Grace.
Grace is a free gift from God.
Jesus instituted the sacraments to give us a special kind of grace called sacramental grace that we need in order to nurture Charity.
This is power that comes directly to us from Jesus Christ. Just like when He asked in the scriptures while in a large crowd of people, “Who touched me? I have felt my power leave from me.” His power comes through to us in the sacraments.
While all sacraments give us sacramental grace, there are two in particular that we should participate in regularly in order to be able to grow in the virtue of Charity.
These sacraments are the Eucharist and Penance.
Doing so, when properly disposed helps us to grow in the theological virtue of charity.
As a reminder, we’ll go back to the Catechism for a definition of charity. It says, “charity" is "the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God".
We all caught up - I think that’s where we left off last.
Charity is all about love for God - not because of what he can give us - but because of who He is and to love those around us - whether they love us or not because that is what God calls us to do.
We are the body of Christ.
We are His hands and feet and we can affect people in a positive way for Him, if we love him enough.
He doesn’t expect us to do this on our own - remember, he doesn’t give us something he wants to do without giving us the tools we need to do it.
It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean that he knows what’s best for us and gives us what we need to give the best for us and for his children.
Now, if a critical part of the theological virtue of Charity is to love God above all things for His own sake - and that’s not easy to do because of the way we’re wired as human beings to seek comfort - to always be on the lookout for what we want - not necessarily what he wants for us - in order to love God above all things for his own sake, we need to cultivate a close, personal relationship with God. We need grace to do this - but grace can’t do it alone - we need to make an effort too.
As human beings, we’re wired to seek love and to be in relationship. And many of us have many relationships that we’re in.
Some are business relationships, some are personal relationships, some are familial relationships, some are romantic relationships. In all relationships, most of us want to have a closer relationship with people. Some are good - some are not so good.
Sometimes, we struggle to get into a close relationship with people and relationships can be messy - especially people who we may not always get along with or who don’t care for us very much.
But God calls us to be in relationship with people.
The definition of Charity says, we need to love our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God - it doesn’t say to love the neighbors who love us - it says to love our neighbors - for the love of God - not because we are good but because God is good and we are called to love him above all things. Not easy to do.
Now in most close relationships that we’re in - we spend time together, we do things together, we talk, we listen and we get something from these relationships. We crave closer relationships. And we want a closer relationship with God, don’t we? I think we do.
And in pursuing a closer relationship with God, if we’re honest, I think we can agree that it can be a little frustrating - that’s right - I said, it - it can be a little frustrating to be in relationship with God.
Why? Because we want something back from our relationships, we want it to be tangible, we want it to be immediate, we want to do something and see its results, we want something back, we want the person we are in relationship to reciprocate - usually, right there and then.
We want someone to listen, but we want someone to talk to as well and it can be hard because we can get frustrated with what we see as God’s silence.
I think that we expect, if we are in relationship with God is that he will do something dramatic in our lives in response to the attention that we show Him.
Something like speaking from a cloud, or showing us a sign that he is listening or answering our prayers on the spot - almost to prove his credentials to us - like - if you loved me I would see you do this or that. We’ve been in relationships with people like that - maybe we’ve even been that person. In Latin they call that Quid Pro Quo.
But God typically doesn’t work that way. God wants to be loved and even in a sense “courted” – which means that we can’t be passive partners in the relationship. We need to pursue God as we would the people we love.
So as we make our way through these last weeks of ordinary time before Lent, yep - Lent is coming, fast and furious, I share a few steps or actions we can take – in no particular order – that can help us maximize the the grace we receive to draw closer to God.
Does that sound ok? OK, so let’s start his list - there happens to be 10 of them. There probably should be more of them, but 10 seems like a popular number for a list - so, here we go.
In order to draw closer in relationship to God, we first need to start by listening to him. Faith, Hope and especially charity isn’t a 12-step method to get a certain result. It’s not an algebra problem that needs to be “solved.” It’s a love affair. As with a spouse or anyone we are in relationship with - the most important thing we can do is to be present and listen. This requires an investment of time and focus. And that’s something we struggle with sometimes - investing time and focus for the benefit of another - not ourselves.
Being impatient or pretending to listen definitely doesn’t work with your spouse or the person you are in relationship with - so, if it doesn’t work with another human, why would it work with God?
God calls us to love him above all. We can’t fake it - we have to listen - we have to respond - we have to be in it. And that’s not easy to do sometime. But if we want to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen.
If we want to be closer to God, the second thing we can do is to cultivate silence. Yep, that’s right I said silence. Silence is something that can really make us uncomfortable sometimes isn’t it? We don’t like to be silent - we always need the music on or the television on in the background or to be talking to someone. I resemble that remark.
But the simple truth is that God does not yell - he whispers. We can’t listen when our world is filled with noise. The Christian writer, C.S. Lewis often said that noise is the music of hell. Those things that we choose to distract us – keep us diverted from focusing on the main questions of life: Why are we here? What does my life mean? Is there a God, and if so, who is he, and what does he ask of me?
To be in a closer relationship with God, we need to make time to be silent so that we can focus on Him and so that we can hear what he has to tell us - and He has a lot.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent.
Another way, that we can develop a closer relationship with God is to seek humility. Humility is to the spirit what material poverty is to ou physical person - it purifies us. Life and the way we live sometimes can be crazy. Humility is the beginning of sanity.
We can’t really see – much less love – anyone or anything else when our egotistical self is in the way. When we finally, really believe in our own sinfulness and unimportance, many other things become possible: repentance; mercy, patience, forgiveness of others. Sacramental grace can help to foster this, but we need to approach in a spirit of humility and in sacrificial love. Despite what our society tells us - It’s just not about us.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility.
Next, to be closer to God, to have a stronger relationship with Him we need to be honest. Complete honesty is only possible for a humble person. The reason is simple. The most painful but important honesty - is telling the truth to ourselves about our own motives and our own actions. The reason honesty is such a powerful magnet is because it’s so rare. Modern life is too often built on the marketing of half-truths and lies about who we are and what we deserve and we market ourselves sometimes, don’t we? I know I do.
Many of the lies that are told are well-intentioned and not even very harmful — but they’re still lies.
Scripture praises the honest woman and man because they’re like clean air in a room full of smoke. Honesty allows the mind to breathe and think clearly. In order to have a closer relationship with God we need to operate from a place of honesty. He knows who we are - He knew us before we even did - it’s no use - be honest.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty.
The next thing we need to do to grow closer in our relationship to God is to seek to be holy - to grow in holiness. Now, Holy does not mean nice or even good, although truly holy people are always good and often – though not always — nice. Holiness means “other than.”
It’s what Scripture means when it tells us to be “in the world, but not of the world.” And this doesn’t just miraculously happen. We need to choose and seek holiness. God’s ways are not our ways. Holiness is the habit of seeking to conform all of our thoughts and actions to God’s ways.
There’s no cookie-cutter model of holiness, just as piety can’t be reduced to one particular kind of prayer or posture. What’s important is to love the world because God loves it and sent his Son to redeem it, but not to be captured by its habits and values, which are not godly.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness.
Next - if we want to be in closer relationship with God we need to pray. Prayer is more than just that portion of the day when we petition God about what we need and what he should do. Real prayer is much closer to listening, and it’s intimately tied to obedience.
Now, God wants to hear what we need and love and fear, because these things are part of our daily lives, and he loves us. But if we’re doing the talking, we can’t listen. Note too, that we can’t really pray without humility which we talked about before. Why? Because prayer requires us to lift up who we are and everything we experience and possess to God. Pride is too heavy to lift.
We need to pray and cultivate a prayer life that grows over time.
If we are still praying now the way we learned to when we were eight or ten or twelve years old, that’s not going to do it. Prayer needs to evolve - prayer needs to strengthen and mature over time. Just like any relationship, we need to be present and to listen. This kind of reminds me of the movie Pulp Fiction by Quentin Tarantino when Uma Thurman is sitting in a diner and is asked by John Travolta whether she “Listens or waits to talk.” We need to pray and prayer isn’t always about talking - sometimes it’s about listening.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness and pray.
Another thing we need to do to build a closer relationship to God is to read. Now, I’m not talking about reading just anything - I’m talking about reading Scripture, which is the living Word of God. When we read God’s Word, we encounter God himself. Scripture is essentially a love letter written to us by God - the Catholic Church wrote the Bible - so it’s unfortunate that the Protestant’s have their version of it and refer to it most often - but a good, Catholic bible is an important book to have in your bookshelf and more importantly - in your hands.
Now, you don’t read the Bible from cover to cover, it’s not really meant to be read that way - but open to a page some time - at random - commit to reading that page and reflecting on it - asking God what he wants you to take from it. Approach it with humility and listen for him to respond. But even beyond the Bible, there’s plenty more to read. There’s J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Scott Hahn, the Saints, the Doctors of the Church, the Popes and so many others – these were deeply intelligent and powerful writers whose work nourishes the Christian mind and soul, while also inspiring the imagination.
Reading also serves another, simpler purpose: It shuts out the noise that distracts us from reflection. We can’t read good Catholic material and take Netflix, YouTube or Prime seriously at the same time. And that’s a very good thing.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness and pray and read.
Another thing we need to do is to believe and act.
Nobody “earns” Charity - nobody earns Grace. It’s a free gift from God. But we do need to be willing and ready to receive it. We can discipline ourselves to be prepared. If we sincerely seek truth; if we desire things greater than this life has to offer; and if we leave our hearts open to God — then one day we will believe, just as when we choose to love someone more deeply, and turn our hearts sincerely to the task, then sooner or later we usually will. Feelings are fickle. They’re often misleading. We need to be grateful for our emotions as God’s gifts, but we also need to judge them in the light of common sense. Falling in love is only the first taste of love. Real love is both more beautiful and more demanding than the early days of a romance. For better or for worse - its more than just words.
Being in relationship is about really being in it - doing the mundane things, doing the boring things, doing the unselfish things, doing the hard things, doing the loving things and doing them and doing them and doing them - day after day.
Especially, when it comes to relationship with God - there usually isn’t a “road to Damascus” style conversion - that doesn’t happen to most people, - and not even St. Paul stayed on the road very long. Why? Because in revealing himself to Paul, Jesus immediately gave him something to do.
We know and more deeply love Jesus Christ - by doing what he tells us to do.
In the real world, feelings that last follow actions that have truly mean something.
The more sincere we are in our discipleship, the closer we will come to Jesus Christ. This is why the Emmaus disciples only recognized Jesus in “the breaking of the bread.”
Only in acting in and on the virtue of charity, does our love for God and for others become fully real. So, if we are going to be in relationship with God we need to believe and then we need to act. The virtue of Charity helps is to deepen this close relationship with God.
So, to be in closer relationship with God we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness and pray and read and believe and act.
Another thing we need - in order to be in a close relationship with God relies on how we love others. Nobody makes it to heaven alone. I saw a meme earlier this week, that I really liked and that drove this point home. It was a simple black background with white letters and it said this, “When you arrive in heaven, I wonder if Christ might say, because of you - others are here today. Wanna meet them?” Can you imagine? The point is that we all need friendship and community.
A friend of mine who’s been married for a very long time likes to say that at the heart of a good marriage is friendship. I believe that. My wife Karen and I met at Freshman Orientation at Southeastern Massachusetts University back in June 1986. We were best friends for years before we were ever romantic with each other. And after twenty five years - and not to brag, but there is still romance - at the heart of our relationship is an unselfish love and friendship. Every successful marriage is finally about a deep and particular kind of friendship that involves honesty, intimacy, fidelity, mutual sacrifice, hope and shared beliefs. This is true in Christ’s marriage to his bride the Church and this is true in any successful marriage between two people.
Every successful marriage also is a form of community. Even Jesus needed these two things: friendship and community. The Apostles were not simply Christ’s followers; they were also his brothers and friends, people who knew and supported him in an intimate way. All of us as Christians need the same two things. It doesn’t matter whether we’re a religious, layperson, deacon or priest, single or married. Friends are vital. Community is vital. Our friends both express and shape who we are. Good friends sustain us. Bad friends undermine us. And that’s why they’re so decisive to the success or failure of a Christian life.
So far - to have a closer relationship with God - strengthened by the sacramental grace that feeds the theological virtue of charity - we’ve heard that we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness and pray and read and believe and act an love others in the form of friends and community.
And finally, the big, big and most important finale - more important than all the things we have talked about in the last several minutes, is the same two sacraments of Penance and Eucharist that we talked about earlier this morning.
Both are the most powerful way to have a closer relationship with God strengthened by the sacramental grace that Penance and the Eucharist - when we are properly disposed to them - gives us. These sacraments lead us directly to God.
God makes himself available to us every week in the confessional, and every day in the sacrifice of the Mass. Sometimes people give up because they do not hear God - because they think God is not paying attention - because he is perceived as being silent. But this makes little sense when our churches are made silent by our own absence and indifference. We’re the ones with the cold hearts – not God.
God is never outdone in his generosity.
He loves us more than we realize.
He waits for us in the quiet of the tabernacle.
He loves us and wants to be loved wholeheartedly in return.
So - to have a closer relationship with God - strengthened by the sacramental grace that feeds the theological virtue of charity - we’ve heard that we need to be present and listen and make some time to be silent and we need to approach Him with a spirit of humility and honesty and seeking holiness and pray and read and believe and act and love others in the form of friends and community and participate regularly in the sacraments of the Eucharist and Penance.
That’s quite a list - and it sounds like a lit - but if take just a step at a time, just like anything else - these things build upon one another and Jesus gives us the sacramental grace that strengthens the virtue of charity in us and brings us closer to the Father - to His Father - to Our Father.
Our God is a selfish God. He wants the best for us. And for us to have the best for us - we need to love Him and and his people. If we’re willing to give that love, strengthened by the virtue of Charity - all the things we’ve just talked about can draw us into closer relationship with God.
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